Missing
by Skeledog Lover
Summary: Johnny is gone. Can the gang find him in time?
1. Missing 1

**Title: Missing**

**Summary: Johnny runs away. Can the gang find him?**

**Johnny POV**

I can't stand this anymore. I can't go back to my house. I thought of my friends and how they would miss me. But, would they miss me? Who would miss little soft spoken Johnny who couldn't even stand up for himself?

_Please, please forgive me but I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll look up and barely conscious you'll say to no one "isn't something missing?"_

I packed my things and left the letter to my friends on my bed. If they came to look for me that's all they would find. I started out the door and continued walking through the town, past the Curtis', past Buck's and Tim's and I was gone.

_You won't cry for my absence, I know - You forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant...? Am I so insignificant...? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?_

We were all at Darry's house that night . . . but something wasn't right. I looked around. Nope, everyone was there. Soda and Steve playing poker, Pony sitting on the couch with his usual book. Dally smoking and Darry reading the paper in his armchair and watching the poker game with amusement on his face.

"Hey, y'all. Does something seem, I dunno, wrong here?"

They thought for a second and looked at me.

"Why, d'you Two-Bit?"

"I'm not sure. . . we have Soda, Steve, Dally, Pony, Muscles over here. . ."

"Have any of you seen Johnny?" Dally said, noticing his absence.

"Johnny!"

"Ain't he usually here by now?" Steve said to no one in particular.

We all thought this over, all filled with a certain worry about what happened to our friend.

"Maybe his house wasn't as bad today?" Pony suggested, trying not to sound too panicked.

"Yeah, and maybe Sylvia isn't a whore." Dallas said.

"I say we find him." I said finally.

Dallas nodded and me and him took off. A second later we heard the door slam and the rest of the gang, except for Darry and Pony were following us. We stopped at Johnny's house. The beat up house down the block. The grass was dead and covered with garbage. The gutter was broken so badly that it hung in front of a window. It was pretty bad.

We went inside without knocking and saw his parents sitting on the couch. They looked up when we came in and his mom started yelling about hoodlums in her house. We ignored them and headed to Johnny's room.

All we saw when we got there was a note on the bed. I read it out loud.

_Dear guys,_

_I know I can be a real pest so I left so you could get back to your lives. I know you probably won't even bother to read this so, what's the point. You probably don't even care. I left because my life in Tulsa doesn't have anything, I don't have anything so I'm leaving to relieve you, and myself, of any more pain. Guess I'll never see you again, _

—_Johnny._

I read it over to myself. I couldn't believe it. The page was tear stained and I could tell Johnny was really hurting. I looked back at the guys. Soda had turned white and Dallas looked about ready to kill someone.

"Relieve us of any more pain?" Dally said in a strangled voice.

I thought it through and read over one line. 'I don't have anything so I'm leaving to relieve you, and myself, of any more pain.'

My breath caught in my throat. "We have to find him!" I exclaimed.

"You saw that note. He just wants to be alone."

"No, Dal, you don't get it. He thinks he doesn't have anything and he's going to relieve us and himself of pain? Dally, I think he's going to kill himself."

We went at a run back to the Curtis' to think of a plan.

"I can't believe this. The kid thinking of suicide." Dal was muttering.

"I can." Ponyboy said quietly. Everyone looked at him. "He's talked about it before and I thought I had talked him out of it . . ." He looked like he was about to be sick.

"Come on, we got to get moving." I said. "Dal, you me and Darry are going one way. Pony, Steve and Soda you guys choose somewhere else. We'll meet back here later. We're gonna get him back."

"We have to." I heard Ponyboy say strongly.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?_

**Okay, chapter one is very sad. This is probably going to be the only chapter with lyrics in it as a story set up, sort of. Anyway, please review:)**


	2. Missing 2

**Title: Missing**

**Summary: Johnny runs away. Can the gang find him?**

**Ponyboy POV**

I can't believe Johnny is gone. We were checking all over town, even the Soc side, but we couldn't find him. I'm starting to get worried . . . what would happen if we never found him?

I felt tears well up in my eyes but I wiped them hurriedly. When my vision cleared, I saw Sodapop looking at me.

He whispered softly, "Don't worry, Ponyboy, we'll find him."

Though, I could tell, he was just as unsure as I was.

**Johnny POV**

I probably haven't walked that far. Part of me hopes the gang hasn't read that note yet so I could get on with my plans. The other part of me hopes that they did read it and that they were looking for me so that I knew they cared.

I laughed bitterly in spite of myself. Nice time for indecision. The whole point that I left was that they didn't care. Who would care about pathetic, worthless, Johnny Cade? My parents sure don't so why would the guys?

I had passed a huge sign that said 'You are now leaving Tulsa' a few days ago. . . maybe that was just yesterday. I wasn't too sure anymore.

Days passed on. I hadn't brought any money because, really, I wouldn't need it where I planned to be going. I didn't stop for food or ask for a ride. I didn't need it. At some point a cop car slowed down next to me but, after seeing my tattered clothes they drove off. I hadn't seen anyone pass through since.

I had been gone long by now. My stomach clenched up a lot in pain because of not eating. I would collapse a few times a day under the blaring sun. After a while I sat down, gasping for air and fighting the waves of dizziness and nausea coming over me.

Now was as good a time as any to get it over with. I took my blade from my back pocket, my hand clutching it weakly, and flicked it open. The blade shone ominously in the light that surrounded me. I felt tears rise up in my eyes. This was how I would die; alone in the middle of nowhere away from the people who I had always considered family.

The salty tears fell onto the blade and dripped down onto the ground. It didn't matter anyway, I told myself. It didn't matter if I considered them like brothers. All I was to them was a nuisance.

I brought the blade to my wrist and slashed against it sharply, feeling pain and blood shoot to the scar. I made more angry marks, letting the pain and frustration rush out of me. . . along with everything else.

I was beginning to feel light-headed and the very sound of the wind around me sounded like the roaring of an engine. I collapsed fully onto the ground, closing my eyes and welcoming the darkness enveloping me.

**There's chapter two! Posted two chapters at once so, because of my generosity, you have to review!**


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